cherrypick: add lock wait time

[daviszhen]

What type of PR is this?

• API-change
• BUG
• Improvement
• Documentation
• Feature
• Test and CI
• Code Refactoring

Which issue(s) this PR fixes:

issue ##24420

What this PR does / why we need it:

1, 启用lock_wait_timeout session 级别变量. mysql也有. 用户可以设置此值. lock_wait_timeout 的默认值 31536000 (1 year), 能兼容目前的行为. 如果用户设置了超时时间就用用户的值. 2, 增加lock rpc timeout . 如果lock_wait_timeout设置了, lock rpc timeout 就用 lock_wait_timeout值.

避免几个小时加锁傻等.

3, 修改lockoption 增加lockwaittimeout选项.

4, 给 RPC 加 slack（宽松预算）：RPC 超时 = lock_wait_timeout + 30s，让服务端有足够时间返回超时结果 5, 服务端异步路径也强制检查超时：之前异步路径（远程锁走这条）从不检查 LockWaitTimeout，现在 waiterEvents.check() 里会定期检查并通知超时 6, 客户端翻译 deadline 错误：如果 RPC deadline 到了但 caller context 还没到，说明是锁超时而非连接问题，直接翻译成 ErrLockTimeout

修改后的效果:
session 1 begin个事务, 加行锁.
session 2 delete 行, 等锁, 超时

session1

MySQL [test]> select * from t1;
+------+
| a    |
+------+
|    2 |
|    3 |
|    4 |
|    1 |
+------+
4 rows in set (0.001 sec)

MySQL [test]>
MySQL [test]>
MySQL [test]> begin;
Query OK, 0 rows affected (0.000 sec)

MySQL [test]> select * from t1 where a = 1 for update;
+------+
| a    |
+------+
|    1 |
+------+
1 row in set (0.001 sec)

MySQL [test]>

session2

MySQL [test]> select @@session.lock_wait_timeout;
+---------------------+
| @@lock_wait_timeout |
+---------------------+
| 180                 |
+---------------------+
1 row in set (0.000 sec)

MySQL [test]> delete from t1 where a = 1;
ERROR 1105 (HY000): context deadline exceeded
MySQL [test]>

[qodo-code-review]

Qodo reviews are paused for this user.

Troubleshooting steps vary by plan Learn more →

On a Teams plan?
Reviews resume once this user has a paid seat and their Git account is linked in Qodo.
Link Git account →

Using GitHub Enterprise Server, GitLab Self-Managed, or Bitbucket Data Center?
These require an Enterprise plan - Contact us
Contact us →

[aptend]

LGTM. Reviewed the lock_wait_timeout propagation from session/txn options into lock options, local and remote lock wait handling, async waiter timeout path, and related tests. No blocking issues found.